Our WOTD, Ladies and Gentlemen, is bruschetta, literally “on the floor” in Italian, which is where anything on the toasted bread ends up. Bruschetta competes with tacos for the stupidest food delivery system in the world. Says Enzo Tartetelli, a food writer in Genoa, “Sometimes the lap or the shirt, but tomatoes, ham, the olives, whatever, go to the floor. Almost never the mouth.” The bigger issue, Tartetelli claims, is pronunciation. “It’s bruce-KETT-a, but Americans, they know everything. Such stronzi those people,” he insists. “How to say holes of the ass?”
© 2024 John Oliver
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