I’m a proud indoorsman. Even as a child, exploring wilderness climes didn’t interest me much, though my brother and I did climb Prospect Mountain near Lake George, NY, with our Uncle Joe long before the “scenic highway” was built. Hiking always seemed tedious, what with all the walking and bears and scenery. Providence gave us the gift of color postcards and who are we to defy Providence? And winter sports? Don’t. Be. Ridiculous. “Let’s hurtle down a mountain at 58 miles an hour on pieces of wood in the biting cold! Won’t that be great?” I’d rather be locked in an intermodal container with an insurance salesman as he natters on about term versus whole life. Once, out of fraternal and paternal duty, I went camping with my brother and son. I’d pictured the cover of an LL Bean catalogue. What I got was not that.
© 2024 John Oliver
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