My GE Capital duties included teaching extravagantly compensated corporate poobahs how to behave among English Royals, a task at which I failed utterly. The head of that sprawling unit, for example, asked me the correct way to address HRH Prince Philip, with whom he was to dine. “On the first reference,” I explained, “you say, ‘I’m pleased to meet you, your highness’. Thereafter, call him sir.” The GE guy paused thoughtfully, considered my advice, and, at length, said - and I quote - “Fuck that”. I then urged he call HM’s husband “Phil the Greek” and spent the next few minutes explaining why he very much must not do anything of the kind. My talents in this area remain robust and will be key should you be asked along to Buckingham Palace (“Buck House”) for tea. This guidance will result in a successful visit and ensure you’ll become a “regular”.
© 2024 John Oliver
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