On 23 March, 2023, 8,000 people from Earth will be selected by a space alien, called The Commander, to go to another planet so the human race can be saved. That’s only 12 days away, folks, so best get a wiggle on. This happy news is courtesy of one Eno Alaric, a time traveler from 2671. Mr A is full of predictions - or rather, in his view, ancient events. His record is, alas, spotty. Ten people, he reported, got superpowers in October 2022. He claimed four dates in last December would bring massive changes to the Earth. Earlier this year, he announced that on St Valentine’s a portal to 25,000 BCE, but word of these developments has been slow to hit the papers. Eno did reveal that evil space men would infiltrate the US government, but the Trump administration was already over. This in no wise deters the Faithful, who number over 26,000 around the globe. Alaric actually makes a living dispensing this transparent twaddle. He’s not alone.
© 2024 John Oliver
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