The five most common constellations are Ursa Major, Cassiopeia, Orion, Canis Major, Centaurus, Crux and Carin. These are groups of stars that, to the ancients, seemed to depict animals, symbols or people. Making up goofy stories is what those knuckle draggers did before the invention of Netflix, e-books, NASCAR and internet porn. Let’s get real. Constellations look absolutely nothing like lions, tigers, bears, mermaids or little dippers unless you’ve been vaping wads of The Devil’s Lettuce and, even then, come on. Neil DeGrasse Tyson pees his pants laughing whenever the topic is brought up. Let me give you a perfect example.
© 2024 John Oliver
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