Abu Dhabi’s dugongs are flourishing, according to CNN. (That’s the best lede in human history, in case you don’t know.) Sailors believed the skittish, shy animals, related to sea cows, were actually mermaids, which says a lot about just how stunningly horny sailors were in the 18th and 19th Centuries. Dugongs flee instantly at the sight of people, which also describes Judy, a girl I dated for three weeks in high school. Their scientific name is Sirenia, which means siren, another term for mermaid. Tears of dugongs are bottled and used as an aphrodisiac in many parts of Asia (bury the lede much?). Horny seafarers believed these gentle vegetarians were once humans, which says a lot about the poor vision of sailors in the 18th and 19th Centuries. Anywhoo, off the Abu Dhabi coast, in the Persian Gulf, about 3,000 of these sexy beasts are livin’ large thanks to a big conservation effort. I cannot believe you read this far.
© 2024 John Oliver
Substack is the home for great culture