Yesterday, after getting firm ‘No Thank Yous’ from Finial, Margaret Mary Siobhan and Alistair, I clipped my own Goddamn toenails because when I walked barefoot on the wood floor, it sounded like a big Labrador Retriever was bounding about the house. My bride was much aggrieved.
Clipping my toenails is a complex task. My capacious midsection makes reach…