There is a multitude of ways to categorized the several states in America - East/West, North/South, Blue versus Red and Alabama versus everybody else, but only one measure matters. It’s the states in which you raise your windshield wipers against the coming snow and those in which you do not. Studies show in the latter group, people are weak-willed, pusillanimous, idle, effete and sibilant and they uniformly vote for third party candidates or they “still can’t decide”. More provoking, they pronounce the capital of Hungary as “Buda PEHST”, which is bizarre because they have no Earthly reason whatever to discuss Central Europe. Here in Upstate New York, this is a day in which our wipers are erect.
© 2024 John Oliver
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