I’ve long copped to a predilection for sartorial excess, my only character flaw. I own a Folding Panama from a little shop in Quito, Ecuador. Of superior weave, it cost $550 on sale. My Lock & Co Homburg retails for £475.00. During my divorce trial, my ex-wife’s attorney, having discovered the vertiginous sum I’d spent on suits at a London tailor, made much of the number whilst I was on the stand, resulting in gasps of shock from the clerk, the court stenographer, the bailiff and even my lawyer, which I regarded as unhelpful. I lightened the moment by noting that, because of what this current action was going to cost me, I now wore a Jos A Bank suit purchased for $157.00 in a BOGO sale. To quell the laughter, the judge brought her gavel down with such force, I feared she might break the thing. But yesterday I bought something that proportionally may be the single greatest excess of ‘em all. It was a sandwich.
© 2024 John Oliver
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